Life lesson from Proverbs

A business mentor once challenged me to commit to reading a chapter of Proverbs every day for a year. There are 31 chapters in Proverbs, so you nearly complete them every month. He explained that no matter you belief system, the wisdom to be found in those pages is the base support for every self-help book of any merit ever written. Of course it fit just fine with my belief system, it was simply making the commitment and following through. This was one of the greatest exercises of my life, I recommend it heartily, you will be amazed what you will gain.

During this process, once a month, I would get angry and frustrated with two back to back Proverbs. The Bible never contradicts itself, at least that is what I had always believed, and then these two back to back verses seemed to belie this belief. I would fuss and grumble about it each month, but never went to a Biblical scholar to ask for guidance. Then would go about my business again until once again came to them. I repeated this dance for at least a year, then one day the light bulb went on, and I "got" it.

The first one is Proverbs 26:4 "Never answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be just like him."

The second is Proverbs 26:5 " Always answer a fool according to his folly, or he will consider himself wise."

There may be those of you reading now who are finding their brains tied in knots as well as it did mine that year. One day, I was at a family reunion with "that relative" who would argue about what's the color of grass. You know what I mean, the one that there is no answer that doesn't lead to further argument, and argument for argument's sake. He was pontificating about how the world was going to Hell in a handbag, and this was decades before Obama, so it wasn't.
We were debating (arguing) and going nowhere. Finally I had enough, stood up and told him that I didn't agree with anything he was saying, but really didn't want to discuss it any further. Upon doing so the light went on, my paradigm shifted, it was a revelation, whatever term of enlightenment you prefer. Those two verses all of sudden opened up to me, and made all the sense in the world. It was hard to believe that I was missing something so clear.

When I was arguing with someone who had no intention of being open to considering other options of thought, I was "answering a fool according to his folly, and being just like him." Once I got up, told him that I disagreed and but didn't want to discuss it and walked away I was "Answering a fool according to his folly so he wouldn't consider himself wise," or at least he would know that I didn't. It was so clear, and made so much sense. These two verses are not at all conflicting, but wise advice on how to handle situations in which we all find ourselves. Whenever I find myself getting sucked into one of those arguments that seem to be swirling down the drain, I try to always remind myself of my lessons in Proverbs.