Tiger Woods Fall From Grace

The most popular and successful athlete in history took a surprising fall this week. It wasn't a sports injury that got him, but that devil that so often causes men, most often to stumble, damaging their own as well as their families lives....the other woman, or women.

Tiger Woods seemed immune to anything that could tarnish his image, he has been in the limelight since he was just a child and has publicly handled it with grace and panache. The ultimate endorsement celebrity, the guy everyone wanted their products associated. He was Mr. Cool. Golf tournaments where he doesn't play, or make the cut are ratings bombs, non golf enthusiasts will turn them on Sunday afternoons to watch Tiger make history. If you have seen his wife, who would cheat on her? He is rich, famous, gifted, married to a beautiful wife, has wonderful kids and family, what more could anyone want? How many women watching this unfold are asking, if a man would cheat on her, can you ever trust them?

Tiger, his wife, and family have a lot of work to do. Hopefully, they can find a way to overcome this. I pray for them, and I would beg the media, and his fans to leave them alone to try to work this out away from the glare of outside attention. Tiger also has an opportunity to make something good out of this. If he can take ownership, truly repent, and turn his personal life around he could be an inspiration to his kids, his wife, and to all of those watching. That will be up to him to find the strength to repent and change.

How can something like this happen to someone like Tiger? Why would he take such a risk? Why would so many men do such stupid and hurtful things? There are a lot of reasons, but I want to focus on one of those big traps for "celebrities" of all levels.

I thank God so often for the men that he put in my life when I was young and developing who I would be. At twenty one, I was what was known as a Direct Distributor in the Amway business and had a decent sized business. This allowed me to be on the speaking circuit traveling around doing motivational and training. I loved it, for someone who grew up dreaming of being a rock star, but without any musical ability, it was a very nice substitute. You got to speak in front of large cheering crowds and sign autographs, have people want jockey to sit near you at restaurants to be able to hear, or tape, some sort of "wisdom" you might say. It was very heady stuff.

I knew that one of the reasons that I got to speak a lot was at 21, I was known as the "Diaper Direct," most of those around me were my parents age. I would often share the stage with Dr. Jack, a Dutch immigrant who was a 79 year old nuclear physicist, and I was this 21 year old college drop out. I understood that by putting us on the same stage, the point that ANYONE can do this was ringing out loud and clear.

The leadership of the business knew what pitfalls could await and were wonderful about training you of what to watch out for. A brilliant man, Dexter Yager, conducted a men's only meeting for those at my level where he warned us that we could easily be put into a compromising position. That women would see us at conventions standing on stage in our tuxedos, with diamond rings glittering, speaking to, and firing up the crowds, then would see their own husbands sitting on the couch in their underwear drinking a beer watching sports. What they wouldn't see, is that the next day we would be home sitting on the couch in our underwear watching sports as well. He taught us how Billy Graham to make sure that he would never be tempted and that no one could ever accuse him of infidelity or acting inappropriately, never in his career was in a room, office, or even a car with a woman by themselves with the door closed. He was always visible, and transparent so to speak.

I have always tried to follow Dr. Graham's advice, the overly safe, so never sorry approach. However shortly after that lesson from Dexter, I found that what he was saying was absolutely the truth. We were at a convention and my wife and I had booked a two bedroom suite at the Hyatt. We were letting a few other couples use the other room, and crash on the couches to help them out. In those days, I was always working helping put on the convention as well, so we would be in meetings from early morning until 2-3 the next morning. Then I, and some others, would work on the audio/video productions for the next day's meetings all night between sessions. You learned to function on no sleep for days.

One afternoon, there was a break in sessions so the attendees could go out and explore the city. My wife, and a bunch of girls, were heading out shopping. I realized I didn't have anything that I had to do, so thought I would catch a couple hours sleep so went to our room in the suite. I had barely just fallen asleep when I heard the door open and close and felt her climb in with me, her warm flesh pressed up behind me. I have to admit, I thought about it a second... do I want sleep, or my young bride. Ladies and Gentlemen, I was 21 and figured you can sleep when you are dead. When I rolled over I was very surprised that it wasn't my wife, but the wife of one of our distributors, it seems she let all the rest including her husband go sightseeing and then came back to the suite. This was not an easy choice to make, I didn't want to do the right thing. However it helped that I heard Dex in my head telling me that it wasn't me but a distorted image of me she wanted. I told her that I was complimented, but that since we were both married, and not to each other, that this could not happen. To say that she had no use for me in any way from then on would be most accurate.

Through out the years other "opportunities" have come along, some more challenging than others. In my line of work, I keep very strange hours, I might be gone for days at a time, not often, but occasionally. I have women call me, and I have their numbers on me in my planner all the time, men's numbers and calls as well, but those wouldn't concern my wife. There is a demand of trust, or it would create havoc in our lives.

There are several ways that I found it not terribly hard to practice fidelity. The first is that I love my wife, and children, and would never want to tear those relationship apart. The second is I am a Christian, and believe that you can gain strength from faith. However, as has been proven over and over, neither of those are iron clad protectors for falling short. Men have done so since the dawn of man, not saying that women don't, but since I am a guy, I am going to focus on us.

For me those above are part of the foundation, but there is more. One is that I see myself as a man of honor and integrity, and that self-belief is critical to who I see myself to be. It gives me a cornerstone to build upon, it is something that I cherish and wouldn't give away to anyone, for anything. I never want to have to avert my eyes from the man in the mirror. I believe that by breaking this code, if you are ever caught or not, will do serious damage to you and your self-image. It would make setting a goal much harder. Just think, if you told yourself you are going to do such and such, but you know in your heart and your subconscious that you are a cheater, and a liar to your wife, your own subconscious is going to remind you that your word is no good. If you lie to her, wouldn't you lie to you, or anyone?

There have been moments through the years that there have been temptations, a few have even suggested that no one, especially your wife would never need to know. My answer to them, and to myself, was always yes there would be, I would know. I never wanted to have to deal with me if I didn't respect me. What I feared most of all is if I would once compromise that doing so again would be much easier. If honor was breached, it was gone, and no longer there as a stalwart.

To me there are always some tricks that I have used through the years to help protect me from myself. I am still human, and as such never above falling. As a Christian I am a no better man than others, just forgiven, with a goal and dream of being better daily. There a far too many Godly men and women who have made these mistakes. I needed some techniques or crutches to help assure me of making the right choices.

When a woman is making me feel that things might be getting too friendly, by either of us, I start talking and telling about my wife, fun, uplifting, edifying stories about her, not "that she doesn't understand me" stories that I hear are common. Plus I would be lying if I would say that Jodi doesn't understand me, I find it frightening how well she knows me.

If things get further into a danger zone, maybe with someone who I would have worked with, or would be seeing often through normal business day, I would tell Jodi that I think so and so might have a crush on me, or that I could easily have one on her if that would be the case. By alerting her, I am making it nearly impossible to "get away" with something it helps me put an insurance policy on it.

There were a couple times where talking of my happy marriage didn't diffuse things, both were secretaries who I worked with daily, both Jodi knew about. However, eventually it came down to a talk about that though flattered, I would never put myself, my wife, my family, or her into such a compromising situation. That no matter what happened someone would get hurt, or likely all of us would.

Through the years, I have watched friends, and business associates fall into these traps, some get caught, some don't. I know that when I see someone cheat, and lie to their wives, that no matter how much I like them, respect them in business, it always diminishes them in my eyes. It also makes me trust them less, if they would do that to their wife and take such risk with their kids, why should I believe that they wouldn't be capable of screwing me in business.

Once again, I thank God for putting me in the councel of men like Dexter in my youth. Men who led by example, and with wisdom, and who could show me what to look out for, and why.

Tiger Woods is one of the wealthiest, most popular celebrities on the planet. If I in my little world had any situations, I can't imagine the "opportunities" of beautiful, exciting women throwing themselves at him daily. Once you make that wrong choice once, it would get ever more easy to make again, and again.

I pray that he uses that inner strength, and self-discipline that he used to make himself the best golfer in the world, to become the man he, his wife, and children deserve. We should all pray for him and them, if he can make this difficult journey and save his family, he will be a light for other men to realize that they too can be men, and not boys in adult bodies.